Whenever we face tragedy our first response is to ask why?  We talked last time about how we cannot stop at why but have to move towards how.  If we get stuck on why then we can never find the peace we will need to live the rest of our lives.  There is a time to figure out how we move forward in our lives.  When it comes to losing someone we love to suicide it is tough to think of what is next.  But, that is what life brings us.  The sun rises every day no matter what.  We cannot find the off switch no matter what.  So how do we begin to move forward in the rest of our lives?  Maybe as we think about how we can ask a couple of things to help us.

Encourage Yourself in God

There is a story in the Old Testament about a time when life went South for David.  David is on the run from Saul who is trying to kill him.  During that time many men have joined him in his exploits.  300 in fact.  At one point David and the men go to fight a battle and while they are gone the Amalekites took everyone captive.  They did not kill anyone but took them prisoners.  David and his men come back and find everyone gone and their homes ransacked.  The men are angry with David and they want to kill him.  David is not only heartbroken for his own loss but whenever he looks at someone he sees someone he failed as a leader.

There is a strange verse in 1 Samuel 30.  The verse goes like this “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.”  1 Samuel 30:6 (KJV) This verse may give us a clue from an ancient time about a step we need to take at these times.

I’m a person who truly believes in God and follows the teachings of the Bible.  I know that some people are not that sure in their faith.  And many times when events like death hit close to home it shakes our faith in anything.  I have been there where I’m just not sure if God is really controlling things.  I know I should not say that being what I do for a living.  But to be honest many times I wonder what is going on.  But…and I know that is big word, someone even wrote a song about it and how big it was, there is this big part of my life that is based completely on my faith in God.

I encourage myself in God.  What does that look like to encourage yourself in God?  I got an idea of what it looks like for me and maybe for you.  I pray to God and with God.  Weird I know that you also pray to and with God.  I think that is how prayer works.  We pray to God and express our greatest fears, anger, hope and love to him.  At least if you read the prayers of David and others in the Bible you realize that prayer is a bit more than a memorized set of words or just marking off a set of itemized things we should pray for in our daily life. 

I have found myself yelling my prayers at God.  When things are going bad and I can’t see a good end then I argue with him.  Funny thing is that many times I think he watches and just tells me to lie in the grocery store aisle and pout about not getting Coco Crisps for breakfast.  I think sometimes he is like me watching my boys be mad about not getting what they wanted in the store.  Eventually it ends up like it does with my boys in the car going home to start life again.

Prayer is also…well let me tell you a story.  When I was younger my grandpa Bob was all the world to me.  He was amazing.  I got lucky and got to spend some weeks in the summer with him and we spent time making things in the shed and just knowing that everything was right when we were together.  I would go into the living room of their house and he would be in his chair.  I would hop into his lap and he would take his five o’clock shadow of a beard, no matter what time of day it was, and tickle the back of my neck and make me laugh.  He always smelled of Camels and a beer.  So when I need to pray to God for comfort I always envision my grandpa’s lap.  It is strange that when I am close to God Camels and beer is what I smell.  It is the prayer that brings us comfort and love in our darkest days.

It is the realization that God is comfortable and almost welcomes this give and take.  I know that it is not the normal take on prayer, but I feel his presence closest when we disagree and continue to walk together that our relationship grows stronger and stronger.  So prayer is wrestling things out with God and finding peace in the midst of our greatest struggles in that God is walking with us through this battle.

Be Around People Who Will Encourage You

We all know that life is life.  Many times we fight a battle alone when we do not have to.   One of the things about the bible and being a Christian is that there is someone with us no matter what.  We need to have people around us that will encourage us and walk with us in the daily life.  You see God is a real part of my life, but sometimes I need flesh and blood to get me through a day.  It is the feeling that someone is there with me, fighting for me and loving me.  Paul expresses this idea in a letter he wrote to some early believers.  “So encourage each other and give each other strength, just as you are doing now.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NCV)

We are called to strengthen each other and encourage each other in our daily lives.  Being there for each other is the only way we can make it.  We need to be here for each other.  When we realize that eventually life wins and we all need each other to make it to the next day.  Life is too hard to do alone.  We need each other.  Remember Jesus was our Savior and yet He chose 12 close friends and walked through his 3 1/2 years of ministry with them.  Life is too long and tough to not have someone beside you to give you encouragement and keep you going when it gets too heavy. 

How is easier to face if we join with our faith and the people who have our backs.  When we walk through tough times looking to our side and realizing that we are not alone is a great strength.  One answer to “How am I going to get through this?” question is to look around you and find those who love and will be there for you makes all the difference. 

How, becomes a step by step, day by day, tear by tear journey.  It takes time to recover from tragedies in our lives.  It will not happen until it is time for it to happen.  Besides, we need to realize that we will probably not come to peace with what has happened.  That why will haunt us at times, but peace will come in knowing that we are moving forward.  It is the only direction we can head and find ourselves again.