Bait Shop Wall 7 – Fighting Mad With the Hook
On those fishing shows, which I’ve only ever seen parts of as I looked for something else to watch, nothing is as cool as when the fish is fighting the hook. Jumping, swimming and fighting being pulled into the boat. You know that fish has to be ticked that it was dumb enough to bite a hook. So he fights with all the rage inside of him. I mean it is a fight that can only be born from a streak of anger. That fish is fighting mad, but he hooked himself. Maybe we need to look at the anger in our own lives and ask if we are just fighting mad with the wrong person.
When it comes to anger, I’m a bit of an expert. I grew up angry because of some health issues and the teasing that came from it as a kid. It began a path in my heart that led me to a bad place as an adult. So bad in fact one night when I went into a rage with my oldest son that ended with him crying and me just steaming mad. I looked around after a few minutes and noticed my younger son had gone out on the front porch. I went out and asked him what he was doing. He looked up to me at 7 years old and said, “Why is that you just have to ruin everything?” Those words hit me between the eyes. I can’t tell you how many times I thought those words about my step-father but never had the guts to say them out loud. It was then that I realized my anger was ruining my family and my life. I sought help through a counselor and seriously made some hard decisions to deal with my rage. Maybe a few of the things I learned during that time will help us all with our anger.
Realize the Wisdom of Not Letting Anger Hook You
Proverbs 19:11 in the New Living Translation Bible says, “Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.” So…a sensible person. None of us ever want to be seen as someone who has lost their sense by being angry at the drop of a hat. But that is exactly what we think about someone who just can’t seem to control their anger. When we don’t become angry and control our reactions people respect us more. If you always lose control and your anger takes over then respect goes right out the window. So the first thing is to realize just how smart it is to not lose control.
Listen Fast and Speak Slowly
We need to realize that sometimes when someone is talking to us many times we stop listening because they say something that makes us angry. So instead of listening we starting answering and accusing at times. Jesus’ brother James gave us some advice when it comes to being slow to speak and quick to listen. “My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants. So put out of your life every evil thing and every kind of wrong. Then in gentleness accept God’s teaching that is planted in your hearts, which can save you.” James 1:19-21 (NCV)
James knew all those years ago that anger would lead us to a prime spot of the bait shop wall. It is understanding that anger opens the door for all kinds of other sins to creep into our lives. How many things have been done because we are angry. So stop and listen to what is being said instead of finishing the sentence and story in your head and getting the ending all wrong. If we wait to talk we will avoid making the greatest speech we will ever regret.
Express Your Anger, But Dilute it With Love
I know you are thinking that you can never express your anger and that I’m asking you to eat your words. I am not saying that at all. Instead we are called to speak the truth. But a lot of times the truth gets lost in the loudness of our voice. So how do we make sure our hurt is heard by another person. Paul tells us, “ God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do.” Ephesians 4:15 (MSG) As we grow up we can learn to speak our truth diluted with love. That means we argue not to be right, but to be heard. Our anger and what drives it will only drive a wedge if we do not try to find common ground and not worry about winning, but about healing. Love will do that.
There Comes a Time to Let Our Anger Die
Paul continues in Ephesians 4:26-27 “When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day. Do not give the devil a way to defeat you.” Paul lets us know that it is not always a sin to be angry. In fact, you can tell a ton about a person by what actually gets them angry. Is it really worth it? Is it something that affects someone else more than it does them? With that in mind, Paul tells us that we need to let go of anger each day. What if we were to make a list and let things go before we went to sleep? After all a new day would be really improved if we left the stink bait from the day before in the day before. So don’t just drag your anger in your tackle box so you keep it for the next day. We need to leave yesterday in yesterday.
Anger can ruin our lives in just moments. We have to decide to not let anger do that to us. It is in our choices of holding our tongues or not letting anger rule our hearts. It will be a struggle, but in the end if we will just quit biting the hook of anger we will not have to fight so hard to survive.