A Shadow of a Doubt
How would you like to go through history being remembered as “Doubting Thomas”? One of Jesus’ disciples was named Thomas and he got his nickname because he was not with the other disciples on the day Jesus showed up after the first Easter. Thomas walked with Jesus and saw miracle after miracle. In spite of that he still had his doubts.
When Jesus was going to see his friend Lazarus who had been sick and then died. When Jesus told the disciples they were going, all Thomas could think of was that Jesus’ enemies were ready to kill him. John writes about the time that Thomas lets us know that he might have had a few doubts about who Jesus was and what He was doing.
Jesus meant that Lazarus was dead, but his followers thought he meant Lazarus was really sleeping. So then Jesus said plainly, “Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes I was not there so that you may believe. But let’s go to him now.“ Then Thomas (the one called Didymus) said to the other followers, “Let us also go so that we can die with him.“ John 11:13-16 (NCV)
Thomas looks around and is maybe a little confused about what Jesus has in mind. After all, Lazarus was a close friend and Jesus did not go to help him but let him die. I wonder if Thomas thought why did Jesus not do anything but let Lazarus die. It is one of the times when we think God should, but He does something else. We have all been there and tried to work through in our mind what God is up to. Thomas is just ready to go and die with Jesus and he might not even know why.
A few weeks later Thomas watches as Jesus is arrested and then quietly goes to the cross and dies. I’m sure Thomas is really confused by these events since they were expecting a king and kingdom, not a savior. The women go on Sunday and find an empty tomb and are encouraged to tell the disciples. The disciples see Jesus after his resurrection and tell Thomas they have seen Jesus risen from the grave. Thomas…well let’s just read it from the Bible.
Thomas (called Didymus), who was one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other followers kept telling Thomas, “We saw the Lord.” But Thomas said, “I will not believe it until I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were and put my hand into his side.“ A week later the followers were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. The doors were locked, but Jesus came in and stood right in the middle of them. He said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand here in my side. Stop being an unbeliever and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!“ Then Jesus told him, “You believe because you see me. Those who believe without seeing me will be truly happy.” John 20:24-29 (NCV)
Thomas just right out declares “I’ll believe it when I see him.” That is why he gains that nickname of doubting Thomas. He joins the disciples and Jesus shows up and offers his hands and side, but Thomas sees and believes. His doubt is answered by a risen Jesus. Jesus lets Thomas know that even though he doubted that it is all good. I think there are a few things about doubt we can learn from this story.
Doubt can make us curious or just done
Will you let your doubt push you towards something new? We have to decide that if we doubt, we need to find out why and if doubting is justified.
God is not shocked or hurt by our doubt
Growing up I was taught that it was a sin to doubt God. Then life happened and I realized that things happen in life that can bring a shadow of a doubt at least to our minds. As I’ve grown up in age and faith, I realize that God is not shaken by a little doubt. He’s big enough and confident enough that He can handle it. So, let your doubts about God push you to grow and explore your faith.
The Bible tells us to “try every spirit, to see if they are from God.” Sounds like God wants our faith to be tried and believed in. So, if your doubts whisper to you, know that it is an opportunity to learn and grow. We must decide if we want to grow and change in a better way. Do not run from doubt, step into it, and learn and change.