Trouble Shooting Your Marriage 2 – Financial Strain
There’s an old saying that goes like this: Money makes the world go ‘round. Even if we don’t want it to be true, we know the power and pressure that comes from money in our lives. When it comes to marriage money can add even more stress to one of the toughest things we do as people. So, if we know that money can be a problem when we’re single why don’t we prepare to tackle this trouble together? It is because we don’t always stop to think about planning so that we do not fall behind.
How We Fall Into Financial Strain:
Failure to control spending
As much as we hate it a budget will save us a lot of trouble. It keeps us from those impulse buys that a year we look back at and think, “What the heck was I thinking?” A budget can keep us on track and out of the poor house. Of course you have to budget in a smart way and keep those impulse buys to a minimum.
Abusing what we already own
It is amazing that when we first bring a new car home how we fuss over it. It is the best car we ever owned and so the story goes. Then a few years pass and a ding and some dirt and that car is just a piece of junk and not really that nice anymore. If we take care of what we have then it doesn’t need to be replaced and buying new ones all the time. So, taking care of what we have is an investment in our future.
Letting greed get the best of us
Greed is a powerful thing. It has made people go crazy and some lose everything. When we keep reaching to get more, we can never enjoy what we already have. The thing about greed is that we lie to ourselves and think that if we get just a little bit more, we will be happy. When we get more, we look around and are reminded of all that we do not have. It is to become content and moving forward smartly.
Looking at debt as a favorable means to an end
We are set up in America to believe that debt is an acceptable way of life. We go to college and wrack up unbelievable debt. Just $100 down and you can make some payments for the next years and then trade it in and do the same thing repeatedly. If we see this as normal we will become a slave to every want we can take home today and pay for over the next years.
So how do we figure this whole financial thing is to take it seriously. We must decide that finances will not rule our marriages and cause more stress on an already difficult task. So, what if we take some time and talk about how to avoid financial stress in our married lives.
Ask for each other’s help in your weakness
We all have weaknesses when it comes to money. Usually in a marriage there is a spender and a saver. It is just how marriage works. Sometimes we see it as trouble, but when we see it clearly it is a gift that we can take care of each other. So, what is your weakness when it comes to money? Clothes, food, jewelry, trips or just a binge spending spree. Welcome each other into your weakness so that together you can be strong and take control of your finances. Just make sure it does not turn into a fight…wait we will talk about how to have a fight in a couple of weeks.
Value each other’s contribution
There is an old joke about my money, her money and our money. When we start seeing it has mine and yours, we will end up in a bad place competing instead of working together. So never look at each other as not providing help and to the finances. Even a small contribution is still making a difference in your finances. Don’t compete but complement each other.
Obey God’s principles for your finances
We need to understand that God has laid out a way for us to live that makes sense. It may not seem like it at times, but He has shown us a way to make it work financially. It is so good that it is simple. First, you give. Then you save. Then you spend. Many times, we get it backwards and end up with nothing to share or to save. We need to give first, that way we remind ourselves that we do not earn just for us, but to be able to help others. If we save, then debt can begin to go away. Then we can better control what we spend. Even if we start small with our giving and saving, it can grow as we exercise this plan.
Invest for your future together
Proverbs 21:20 says, “The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spend whatever he gets.” We must stop and ask ourselves to delay gratification. My wife and I wanted to take our sons to Hawaii. We talked to our boys about going in 11 months. They both bought in and we made some decisions as a family. Whenever we were deciding to go out to eat, we would ask: “Dinner or Hawaii?” We most of the time chose Hawaii and we were able to save for that trip and pay for it before we ever went. It is a simple choice of giving up today for a better future.
Determine to save for unexpected expenses
This is were the stress hits us the hardest. When something we do not plan for jumps up and breaks or costs us. That is why we must learn to live on less of our money so that we have some in the bank when we need it. It is tough, but so rewarding when we do not get caught with our wallet empty.
Finances are finances. We get in trouble when we do not tell our money where to go. We will sit around and try to figure out where it went. So, plan together, save together and choose together about your finances. We will have enough trouble with money. Why not make a plan to make it not so troublesome.